So it's been awhile since last blogged... I guess you could say alots gone down in my life but I havnt had the time to share it... but im hoping blogging will make me feel abit better... :)
So... firstly dance wise my life is quite good - the girls are having fun preparing for festivals and competitions and I'm enjoying choreographin the routine - dance is one of the only times I can get stuff off my mind; or use it within my choreography... excited about seeing my group perform in the national finals - although sometimes I feel that theres only me that is! This is something I have always wanted my group to achieve... but now I'm there people arent reli supportive - I guess its me and my girls against the world! <3 ...
Life in general at the moment is hard ... one minute I'm happy, the next someone or something has threw me back down. How do you make yourself better when you don't know whats wrong? This is my life atm... I never feel myself and I never feel good enough... in my head im thinking I don't know why but my hearts telling me I do :/ ... having to make a decision you don't wanna make isnt easy but when you can feel yourself making the wrong choice but not willing to change it is worse... I kinda feel that i wanna escape... shut everything off, but people rely on me and I'l keep strong for them...
Another thing... (something that isnt reali relevent to me, but a friend) is why try to impress someone when they are happy with you the way you are? Why change something that was perfect only to make it worse? That person chose you for a reason... something they liked about you; they didnt want that person your trying to become. I feel some people really underestimate themselves...
Next on agenda - self harm... kinda something that i hear alot about recently and I guess theres not much I can do - but what makes you do it? if your doing it to prove a point, your only hurting yourself... Attention? Surely if you speak to people/friends they will be there - I know I will always stand next to any of my friends family. I guess it's not easy - sometimes its a way it cover the pain your already feeling ...
On a good note: I have my neices christening this weekend :) ... should be nice, my sisters relying on me to take the photos which I'm kinda nervous about :s... don't think im good enough... but I got a new outfit and new shoes and bag so I'm happy :D ... what girl doesn't love shoes and bags?? :P
Neways ... I'll blog more often for a bit I'm thinking it will help :) But right now im thinking...
Tea, Cookies, Hoodie, Shorts, Moodle, Bed and Film is perfect ... :P
Much Love xox
Tuesday, 30 August 2011
Monday, 1 August 2011
21 Questions.
Hey Guys... So somebody asked me to this, well gave me the idea to and I thought it was a bit different :) So asked around to get some questions about what people wanna about me and chose 21 of them :) I'm gnna try and answer them quickly as I dnt want this to be the worlds longest blog - but if you know me you know i can chat for days :') neways here goes ...
1. Is honesty the best policy, in your opinion?
I think it is up to an extent. If something is gnna hurt someone or even yourself and maybe a little white lie will help stop that... I'd say lie. That may sound really bad about but why upset and hurt someone when you have the power to make them happy? My moms always brought me up not to lie... and I have been lied to before and its no nice but sometimes honesty hurts hell of a lot more.
2. If your upset do you prefer to be comforted or left?
I prefer to be comforted ... but it depends. On... one where i am - i really am not a fan of crying in public :') and 2. who by - either gta be my lil sis, pea, bro or my mommy :) missy helps me laugh to! But when u say comforted ... well I like the hugs but also i want them to make me laugh not just be like awww dear me :')
3. Do you get jelous easily?
Ermmm... what girl doesn't? in all honesty?? I guess you could say I get jelous quite abit... but I am guessin thats partly from what I have seen in life! Me and my sister have always been jelous of each other but growing up has stopped that, bcus we can understand each other more. And if your thinking on the topic of boys ... well... if you don't get jelous of your guy talking to some hot girl there is seriously something wrong :') ... u don't want your guy to prefer them... and how ever much they tell u they think ur better you won't believe them... lets be honest here!
4. Whats your biggest pet hate?
Has to be saying one thing and doing another! This RELI pees me off! Just don't say it... just shut your mouth and then this wont happen will it? :')
5. Describe our relationship in 1-5 words (Pea)?
Memories.Trust.Love.Smiles.Promises
6. Where would you like to see me in 5 years (Pea)?
I'd like to see you happy... enjoying life to the max and loving whatever it is you decide to do! I'd love to see you in uni ect dancing or performing arts school still working for that dream... I never EVER want to see you give up
7. Biggest achievement so far?
Has to be EDC... and my P.A! That girl was so shy and just an ordinary school girl till she started dancing :) and my group make me proud all the time... getting to national finals has to be one of the best moments EVER!!
8. Do we make mistakes for a reason or is life made to just fuck up?
For a reason. If nobody made any mistakes what would we learn? Why would we be here? We would just all be perfect - and I can say nobody is perfect no matter what anyone says... but don't our mistakes and ups and downs make us wo we are today??
9. How do you know if 'the one' is 'the one'?
Im afraid I cant answer this as I don't really know ... I don't think you ever do :s ... I'm thinking as long as your happy and you love the person to bits then thats what its all about?!
10. When your feeling at your worst what do you do to make yourself smile again?
I normally just sit there :') ... and wait till it passes! But I know that if I go see my girls they can put a smile on my face whatever the matter is!! And i can always go get a hug of mom and dad and they will always be there to make me laugh :) And my neices well how can you not laugh when they are around? lets be honest... not gnna happen!
11. What do you think is important for a person to know/do/say?
Whatever they feel at that point... if you hide your feelings and don't say what you believe in you will always regret not telling them at that moment in time
12. Are you materialistic?
Aha... this made me laugh... People who know me well would say yes! BUT... thinking about it I wuld say yes i am but i can live without it if i had to. I'm not gonna lie i love shopping I care about what i look like and what i have but im not spoilt and can't see that i get alot more than some... and if a time comes in life where it needs to go thats fine... i don't NEED it ... i just like it :)
13. Your life at the moment in three words?
Complicated.Dreams.Family
14. 2 objects that mean alot to you?
Photos.Phone.
15. 2 people that mean alot to you?
Mommy and Daddy <3
16. Favourite way to be hugged?
From behind around the waist
17. One regret?
Doing stupid character dancing without shoes on ... cost me my dancin' :( ... but also led me to teach :D
18. One secret?
Hard... I can't throw my teddies away cus i believe they have feelings :') pmsl ... how embarrasing!
19. If you could change one thing in life what would it be?
The way I am sometimes... I find it hard to trust people, wish i could change that :/
20. Married? Kids and what gender?
Yes I wanna be married... and maybe kids but would probs be just the one :') ... and I don't care if its a boy or a girl as long as its healthy and happy :)
21. You have 1 wish, what would you wish for?
Good health and happiness for all the people who matter to me :) <3
Well there it is! hopefully you know abit more about me now :)
Much love to the people who helped me out there :) <3
xxxxxxx
1. Is honesty the best policy, in your opinion?
I think it is up to an extent. If something is gnna hurt someone or even yourself and maybe a little white lie will help stop that... I'd say lie. That may sound really bad about but why upset and hurt someone when you have the power to make them happy? My moms always brought me up not to lie... and I have been lied to before and its no nice but sometimes honesty hurts hell of a lot more.
2. If your upset do you prefer to be comforted or left?
I prefer to be comforted ... but it depends. On... one where i am - i really am not a fan of crying in public :') and 2. who by - either gta be my lil sis, pea, bro or my mommy :) missy helps me laugh to! But when u say comforted ... well I like the hugs but also i want them to make me laugh not just be like awww dear me :')
3. Do you get jelous easily?
Ermmm... what girl doesn't? in all honesty?? I guess you could say I get jelous quite abit... but I am guessin thats partly from what I have seen in life! Me and my sister have always been jelous of each other but growing up has stopped that, bcus we can understand each other more. And if your thinking on the topic of boys ... well... if you don't get jelous of your guy talking to some hot girl there is seriously something wrong :') ... u don't want your guy to prefer them... and how ever much they tell u they think ur better you won't believe them... lets be honest here!
4. Whats your biggest pet hate?
Has to be saying one thing and doing another! This RELI pees me off! Just don't say it... just shut your mouth and then this wont happen will it? :')
5. Describe our relationship in 1-5 words (Pea)?
Memories.Trust.Love.Smiles.Promises
6. Where would you like to see me in 5 years (Pea)?
I'd like to see you happy... enjoying life to the max and loving whatever it is you decide to do! I'd love to see you in uni ect dancing or performing arts school still working for that dream... I never EVER want to see you give up
7. Biggest achievement so far?
Has to be EDC... and my P.A! That girl was so shy and just an ordinary school girl till she started dancing :) and my group make me proud all the time... getting to national finals has to be one of the best moments EVER!!
8. Do we make mistakes for a reason or is life made to just fuck up?
For a reason. If nobody made any mistakes what would we learn? Why would we be here? We would just all be perfect - and I can say nobody is perfect no matter what anyone says... but don't our mistakes and ups and downs make us wo we are today??
9. How do you know if 'the one' is 'the one'?
Im afraid I cant answer this as I don't really know ... I don't think you ever do :s ... I'm thinking as long as your happy and you love the person to bits then thats what its all about?!
10. When your feeling at your worst what do you do to make yourself smile again?
I normally just sit there :') ... and wait till it passes! But I know that if I go see my girls they can put a smile on my face whatever the matter is!! And i can always go get a hug of mom and dad and they will always be there to make me laugh :) And my neices well how can you not laugh when they are around? lets be honest... not gnna happen!
11. What do you think is important for a person to know/do/say?
Whatever they feel at that point... if you hide your feelings and don't say what you believe in you will always regret not telling them at that moment in time
12. Are you materialistic?
Aha... this made me laugh... People who know me well would say yes! BUT... thinking about it I wuld say yes i am but i can live without it if i had to. I'm not gonna lie i love shopping I care about what i look like and what i have but im not spoilt and can't see that i get alot more than some... and if a time comes in life where it needs to go thats fine... i don't NEED it ... i just like it :)
13. Your life at the moment in three words?
Complicated.Dreams.Family
14. 2 objects that mean alot to you?
Photos.Phone.
15. 2 people that mean alot to you?
Mommy and Daddy <3
16. Favourite way to be hugged?
From behind around the waist
17. One regret?
Doing stupid character dancing without shoes on ... cost me my dancin' :( ... but also led me to teach :D
18. One secret?
Hard... I can't throw my teddies away cus i believe they have feelings :') pmsl ... how embarrasing!
19. If you could change one thing in life what would it be?
The way I am sometimes... I find it hard to trust people, wish i could change that :/
20. Married? Kids and what gender?
Yes I wanna be married... and maybe kids but would probs be just the one :') ... and I don't care if its a boy or a girl as long as its healthy and happy :)
21. You have 1 wish, what would you wish for?
Good health and happiness for all the people who matter to me :) <3
Well there it is! hopefully you know abit more about me now :)
Much love to the people who helped me out there :) <3
xxxxxxx
Car Journey...
On the way back from my weekend away and im thinking this is a good time to blog... car journeys always good from thinking ;)
But firstly had such a good weekend... loads of memories and things i'll never forget! playing bogeys was one of the highlights... sooo funi! and throwing aload of biscuits at 2 of the girls at like 3am was great :D :')
Neways... right now im thinking about how if u know something bad is bound to happen and u know ur gnna end up hurt do u still do it? or do u try and stop what ur thinking and forget what u want? if ny1 has the answer to that id love 2 know!!
And another thing is if some1 says something to you, can u forget it? like can u just act like they nver said it and be normal? im thinking im in the middle... i will try and forget it to the persons face i guess, but i constantly plays on my mind but then i forget it eventually... unles its smething major!
Well i got another like 2 and a half hours in this car, so no doubt im gna think of something :') or i may fall asleep but dnt wanna leave the daddy on his own! :') stay safe neways ... much love xx
But firstly had such a good weekend... loads of memories and things i'll never forget! playing bogeys was one of the highlights... sooo funi! and throwing aload of biscuits at 2 of the girls at like 3am was great :D :')
Neways... right now im thinking about how if u know something bad is bound to happen and u know ur gnna end up hurt do u still do it? or do u try and stop what ur thinking and forget what u want? if ny1 has the answer to that id love 2 know!!
And another thing is if some1 says something to you, can u forget it? like can u just act like they nver said it and be normal? im thinking im in the middle... i will try and forget it to the persons face i guess, but i constantly plays on my mind but then i forget it eventually... unles its smething major!
Well i got another like 2 and a half hours in this car, so no doubt im gna think of something :') or i may fall asleep but dnt wanna leave the daddy on his own! :') stay safe neways ... much love xx
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